Sunday, February 19, 2012

New Zealand's first dead MP elected

30th November 2024:  After counting special votes, the NZ Green Party picked up an extra seat in Parliament, allowing the first ever dead MP to enter as an elected official.  Ureupoko McLennan-O'Donovan, the 46th candidate on the Green list, was able to enter parliament after the Greens picked up an additional 5000 votes on specials.

McLennan-O'Donovan euthanaised himself last year via lethal injection after uploading his conscience to a computer.  Greens Co-co-co-co-co leader, Mojo Mathers, herself the first ever deaf MP said it was a very proud moment for the country.  "Over the last 10 years, the Greens have been able to enter MPs that have broken barriers.  Paraplegics, Tetraplegics, Quadraplegics, Amputee, Autistic, Dyslexic, HIV Postive, Bipolar, Alzeimers,  Down Syndrome, Androgenous, Parkinsons and Amnesiacs have all realised their dreams to become MPs via the Green party, but this is a new step.".

She did also mention that she preferred the term 'Living Impaired' rather than 'dead'.  "We need to recognise that dead people are still people".

"McLennan-O'Donovan took the ultimate step from being a Carbon Dioxide polluting parasite to the world, to being a sustainable solar powered intellect.  We will also be partitioning the speaker to ensure that adequate support is given to his holographic interface in parliament"

Unfortunately, due to an apparent software defect, McLennan-O'Donovan's vocabulary has been limited to just a few phrases such as "Hear hear", "Down with Tories!" and "FIC!".  This should mean that he fits right in as a Green MP.

The two sole elected MPs for the Labour Party, Clare Curran and Trevor Mallard welcomed McClennan-O'Donovan.  "We congratulate our Junior Left wing partners", said Curran.  "Once again this shows that the Left is the moral majority of the nation, as long as you include all the cemetaries".

New Zealand First also took a keen interest.  "For some reason, our voter base is extremely interested in this technology", a party spokesperson said today.  "We are actually keen to try it on Winston Peters, however as yet we have been unable to locate his conscience."

Finally, Mathers was asked if there was any further ground the party wished to break.  "We need to invest more in safeguarding the first inhabitants of Aoteroa, and as such we will be looking to get representatives from the native Tuis and Kauri trees next.".  Mathers was then asked why it was that the Greens had never had an MP of Jewish descent.  "You know, there just never seems to be any space available.", she signed.

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